(Alexis Voice) First off, let me introduce myself. My name is Alexis Dietrich. My parents were always very close friends with Sharon Osbourne, wife of shock rocker Ozzy Osbourne. My father died a couple of years ago to Lung Cancer, and my mom was always a b!tch to me. Kelly, Ozzys second eldest daughter and I was always the best of friends. Even though my personality is completely different from hers, she has stuck with me through everything. After my father died, my mom got much worse. One weekend I went to the Osbournes Beverly Hills home to visit with Kelly. I knew I had to tell someone what was going on.

(Set) Osbourne Mansion. Kelly and Alexis walk into the house and into the sitting area. Sharon is sitting on the couch going over some papers. Alexis sets her stuff down and walks over to Sharon and they hug.

(Sharon) Hay Girlie! You look fantastic!

(Alexis) Thanks.

(Sharon) (To Kelly) What do you two have planned for tonight?

(Kelly) (Excitedly) Were going to stay in and watch movies till we f*cking drop!!! (Alexis gives a small smile)

(Sharon) Okay. Its really good seeing you Lexi. (Kelly and Alexis walk out and up to Kellys room)

(Set) Kellys room. They walk in and Alexis sits on the bed while Kelly looks for a movie. After a few minutes of Kelly mumbling...

(Alexis) (Closes her eyes) Kel, can I confide something with you?

(Kelly) (goes and sits beside Alexis) Sure. What about?

(Alexis) Its kinda a hard subject... You know how my mom was always a b!tch to me when my dad was living? (Kelly nods) Well... Now shes ten times worse. Like the other day... You know how we Seniors get a bunch of pictures made during the year?

(Kelly) Yeah.

(Alexis) Well, she started yelling at me... (eyes start tearing) telling me that I always think money, quote unquote, grows on f*cking trees. And how I didnt deserve to be a Senior because I was a sucky dancer and a $h!tty artist. (Starts crying) And how I needed to either get a real job, and quit school, or get the hell out of her house. (Sniffs) And I dont want to drop out! I have a great chance of getting accepted into that School for the Arts here! Oh god Kelly! I DONT know what to do! (Crys harder)

(Kelly) (grabs Alexis head and lets her cry on to her shoulder) Its okay... Ill figure out something... (Alexis is still crying) Look at me... (Alexis looks up) You are not worthless... And you are the BEST damn dancer on the face of the planet! Dont listen to what your mom says. She is a stupid b!tch that doesnt know what the f*ck she is talking about!

(Alexis) (Drys her eyes) Thank you so much! I dont know what I would do without you...

(Alexis Voice) I was sooo glad that I talked to her. The next morning show woke up before me and talked to her mom. All I can say is THANK god for Sharon!!!

(Set) The next morning. Kellys room. Alexis wakes up to an empty room. She stands up and puts a sweatshirt of Kellys on, over her pjs, and walks out into the hallway. As she walks out she bumps into Jack.

(Jack) DAMN Alexis! You need to watch where the hell you are walking!

(Alexis) Oh shut up! It is too early to start with your $h!t!!! (Keeps walking to the kitchen)

(Set) Kitchen. Ozzy is watching TV while Kelly and Sharon are talking in the kitchen. Alexis walks in and picks up one of the dogs.

(Alexis) Hay Ozzy.

(Ozzy) (Looks away from the TV) When the f*ck did you get here?

(Alexis) I got here yesterday. Why?

(Ozzy) Its just that your so f*cking quiet that no one know until they see that face of yours... (Alexis sets the dog on the floor and walks up to Kelly and Sharon)

(Sharon) Hay sweety. How did you sleep?

(Alexis) Much better than I do at home.

(Sharon) Thats good. Kelly was just telling me what was happening with your mother. I hate that for you. I know that living with that women can be pure hell. What would you think... If it is okay with your mother... If you moved in with us?

(Alexis) (Gets wide eyed) Are you sure??? I dont want to put you out...

(Kelly) Since when have you put us out? Mom and Dad always thought of you as one of us...

(Sharon) And nothing you say can change our minds.

(Alexis) Thank you guys sooo much!!!

(Sharon) I will call her after lunch. (Alexis gives a big smile and hugs Sharon)

(Set) Sitting Area. Sharon is sitting at the desk on the telephone. To Alexis Mother.

(Sharon) And I have a big question for you. I know youre having trouble making ends meet so we would like Alexis to come live with us. If thats okay with you.

(Alexis Mom) Are you kidding? I finally can get that little pain in the @$$ out of my house. Haha!!! Finally after 17 years!

(Sharon) How can you say such a thing?

(Alexis Mom) Easily. Ill have her stuff out on the front lawn. I want it gone tonight. Bye! (Hangs up)

(Sharon) What a heartless B!TCH! (Slams the phone down)

(Ozzy) What the f*ck happened? (Walks over to her)

(Sharon) I see why Lexi wanted out of that hell hole. Can you believe that b!tch had the f*cking nerve to say that she was glad to finally get rid of her? So now I have to go to her house and get all of Alexis stuff off of her yard.

(Ozzy) You always knew she was the f*cking ice whore of the f*cking century.

(Sharon) I know. I just feel so bad for Lexi. (Gets up and goes to Kellys Room)

(Set) Kellys room. Kelly and Alexis are playing Dance Dance Revolution when Sharon walks in.

(Sharon) Hay girls.

(Kelly) Hi. (Turns off the game and they all sit on the bed.)

(Alexis) She was happy to get rid of me wasnt she?

(Sharon) Sadly enough to say. We have to go get your stuff tonight. Do you feel okay enough to come?

(Alexis) I guess. You coming Kelly?

(Kelly) I wish I could kick that b!tchs @$$!!! But I will come.

(Alexis) When do we go?

(Sharon) Lets head on so we can get there before night fall. Come down when you're ready. (She gets up and leaves)

(Alexis) (Chuckles)

(Kelly) Whats so funny?

(Alexis) Just the fact that Jack isnt going to like this! (Both start laughing)

(Set) Alexis house. They drive up to find all of her stuff thrown all over the yard. Sharon, Kelly, and Alexis looked shocked.

(Alexis) Oh my god! (Jumps out of the car and runs to her sketch pads. Sharon and Kelly remain in the car)

(Kelly) How the hell could a mother do this to her own flesh and blood?

(Sharon) Just be happy you dont know her like your father and I do. (They both get out and help Alexis)

(Alexis Voice) I was so upset that my mother... I guess I shouldnt call her that anymore... would THROW all of my possessions, art supplies... My WORK out all over the yard. I was sooo hurt. The clothes of mine that she didnt throw out, she kept because she thought they would look good on her. Fat chance. Anyways, apparently Sharon talked to my "mom." So my mom is supposed to call every now and then. I didnt want to talk to her, especially after all she did. When we got back to Kellys house, we started taking everything to my new room. Jack still had no idea of what was going on. At least, not until we started bringing boxes in.

(Set) Osbourne house. In front of the main staircase. Alexis is carrying a handfull of art supplies. She gets to the top of the stairs when Jack sees her. He runs to find Sharon.

(Set) Driveway. Sharon, Kelly, and Ozzy are standing by Sharons car, talking.

(Sharon) She is devestated... (Jack cuts her off)

(Jack) (Walks up to them) Explain to me what the f*ck is going on? Tell me that preppy b!tch isnt moving into our house!?!

(Kelly) Yeah. You got a problem with that?

(Jack) Well, YEAH!

(Ozzy) I dont give a d@mn what you think. Her f*cking mother just threw her out.

(Sharon) And she is going to live with us...

(Ozzy) And you're going to have to f*cking deal with it! (Jack storms of pissed back into the house)

(Kelly) What an @$$ hole...

(Set) Alexis New room. She is unpacking her underclothes when Jack walks up behind her.

(Jack) Ha!!! The prep b!tch wears GRANNY PANTIES!!! (Alexis jumps. Jack grabs a pair and runs down the hall.)

(Alexis) JACK!!! BRING THOSE BACK!!! (Runs after him)

(Set) Hallway. Jack is running with Alexis closing in on him. After a few rounds in the house, Alexis catchs up to him and pushes him into a wall.

(Alexis) (Grabs panties) @$$hole! (Walks off. Jack watches her, smiling)

(Alexis Voice) I couldnt believe Jack did that. Wait a minute... Yes I can. Man I was glad that he goes out alot at night. Now its time to get adjusted to having people come in and out, sometimes in crowds. I dont think I will ever get used to the crowds though. I guess I should let yall know that when my bitch of a mother kept my clothes, she kept my good clothes that I wear. Which lead me with hardly anything, and I couldnt wear my dance clothes all the time. So Kelly, from time to time, would let me borrow some of her clothes, sweatshirts in particular. However, now I will be careful where I dress.

(Set) Kellys room. The only one in there is Alexis and she is changing shirts. Jack barges in.

(Jack) Kel, theres a -- (Alexis turns to look at Jack quickly, and pulls her shirt on really quick)

(Alexis) (Screams) Jack, you @$$! Dont you know how to knock?!? (Pushes him out the room. Jack trips and falls. Alexis slams and locks the door)

(Jack) Oh my god! She is a female! (Gets up and beats on the door) Come on Alexis! Let me back in!

(Alexis) (Voice) GO AWAY!!! (Kelly walks up behind Jack)

(Kelly) You know what? It almost looks like you like her... How sweet.

(Jack) Oh f*ck off! (Walks off)

(Kelly) You sick bastard. (Knocks on the door) Alex... Its just me... (Alexis opens the door) You okay?

(Alexis) (Face is flush red) How do you think? I just got the $h!t imbarassed out of me! Ga! I swear that -- URGGG!!!

(Alexis Voice) I wanted to hurt Jack sooo bad! You would thik he would have knocked but NO! Being the inconsiderate bastard he is, walks on in! I wonder what Kelly would have done to him... Probably a whole lot worse than I could... But anyways... The next, well several, days after that mishappening, I was really busy, most of the time not even at home. Getting portfolios finished, dance to choreograph, where am I supposed to eat? Well, Sharon took care of the food part for me. I wasnt used to it. But I look forward to it now.

(Set) Kitchen. Alexis is sitting at the counter, in dance attire, eating. Ozzy is in the sitting area, Sharon is sitting beside him. Kelly is beside Alexis. They are talking.

(Alexis) Kelly, you know how I feel about going to a club! I cant take the crowds!

(Kelly) Oh come on! You're already dressed! Please? Just this once... (Gives puppy dog face)

(Alexis) (Mumbles) god, I hate it when you do that... Okay.

(Kelly) (Happy) YES! We leave at 11 oclock! (Alexis gives a small smile as she goes back eatting)

(Set) Outside a club. Alexis, Kelly, Jack, and a couple other people are standing outside waiting to get in.

(Jack) (Looks Alexis up and down) I cant believe this... (Everyone looks at him) Here we are about to go into a club and Alexis is dressed like a preppy hoe!

(Kelly) (Softly) Oh god!

(Alexis) What do you mean by that? Take a look around Jack@$$! You know what? I don't fell like standing here argueing with you. You can just kiss my @$$! This was obviously a bad idea comming. (Walks off)

(Jack) Fine BITCH! (Runs after her, kisses his hand and smacks her butt hard. Kelly has an astonished look on her face)

(Alexis) (Turns around with a shocked look on her face and screams) You sick, disgusting @$$HOLE! (Slaps Jack clear across his face and goes to Kelly)

(Alexis Voice) As you can see, Jack crossed the line... Pushed my buttons... So now I was PISSED!

(Alexis) (Turns to Jack) Well, since you think that I am such the Preppy Hoe... I think Im am going to stay and prove you wrong. Because, quiet frankly, I am really sick of your $h!t that you have been giving me since Ive moved in!

(Kelly) Right on Alex! You show that bitch whos boss!

(Jack) (Has a stunned look on his face as he yells to Kelly) Shut the f*ck up Kel! (Stomps back to the group as they are shown inside)

(Alexis Voice) At least I had Kelly to back me up. We were shown inside. The bouncer made it very clear to me and Jack that we better not start anything in there. Hopefully, Jack will keep his hands, and his stupid comments to himself.

(Set) Inside the club. Everyone is shown to the table. The song that is playing is "Man with Mean Greens" by Pink. It is at the end when "I Think Im Paraniod" by Garbage starts playing.

(Alexis) (Jumps up and screams) Oh my god! This song kicks @$$! Come on Kelly! (Drags Kelly to the dance floor and they start dancing)

(Set) Dance floor. Kelly and Alexis are dancing. Alexis is singing along while dancing.

(Alexis) (Singing) "I think Im paranod, and complicated, I think Im paranoid!"

(Set) Back at the table. Jack is staring at Alexis as she is dancing.

(Jack) (Quietly) No f*cking way. Lets go guys! (Drags friend to dance floor near Alexis. After a minute, Alexis and Jack turn around at the same time and they smack heads. They stand there for a few seconds staring at each other with the "holy cow" look on their faces. Kelly walks over to them)

(Kelly) Its so sweet!

(Jack) (Pushes Alexis back into Kelly)Get the hell away from me!

(Alexis Voice) Can you believe that when we knocked heads I actually thought that he was simi-dating material for me. I guess I was wrong. He is just an over grown... Yeah... Kel and I danced the night long. By the time that we got home, Ozzy was up. I couldnt hold it in. I had to tell someone.

(Set) Sitting area.